Welcome!
My name is Dr. Jem Tosh (they/she)
I'm a Doctor of Psychology and an EMDR and OEI Trained Trauma Therapist. I specialise in working with survivors of sexual violence, and work with clients who have experienced a wide range of abuse and trauma. This includes childhood and workplace bullying, domestic violence, emotional neglect and abandonment, physical and emotional abuse, financial abuse and more.
My clients tend to struggle with things like being able to work and socialise, chronic anxiety, feeling isolated, exhaustion and sleep problems, feeling disconnected from their body, and relationship difficulties with families and partners.
I am based in Langley, BC and offer therapy in-person and online to BC residents.
My Approach
What to expect when working with me
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy
With EMDR therapy, I work with clients to find the underlying root causes of their distress and current difficulties. It's okay if you don't know what the cause is, or if you can't remember it, that's part of my job to figure it out with you and find the best way to access the trauma, so that we can heal it. We can work with past memories, current triggers, body sensations, or negative thoughts.
Observed and Experiential Integration Therapy
OEI therapy is similar to Brainspotting, an approach that was developed later. With OEI we can use a greater range of innovative techniques to address even the trickiest of traumas - those we can't remember, access, or don't know even about. OEI promotes gentler trauma processing that can reach traumas that EMDR misses.
Distraction
The Flashing Technique
Many clients come to me assuming that because the trauma was awful, the healing must be too. It doesn't. My perspective is that you've suffered enough and we don't need to sit with some emotions, like shame. I lean into one of our most effective coping strategies for survival - distraction. So, I don't ask clients to think about their trauma all session, I ask them to distract themselves with something they enjoy.
Affirmative
Neurodivergent & 2SLGBTQAI+
I'm a nonbinary, queer, and neurodivergent therapist and I have completed additional training to make EMDR more accessible for ADHD and autistic people. I regularly work with clients who are unable to visualise or describe their emotions, and who have trauma related to being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world. I am also an expert in the psychology of gender and sexuality.
My Credentials
My background and qualifications
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Chartered Member and Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society (CPsychol, AFBPsS)
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Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) in BC
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Certified OEI Therapist
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Member of the Canadian Psychological Association
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Member of EMDR Canada and EMDRIA
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PhD in Psychology, Manchester Metropolitan University, UK
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Postgraduate Certificate in Counselling & Psychotherapy, Regents University London, UK
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BSc Psychology, First Class Honours, University of Liverpool, Chester College, UK
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Founding Director of Psygentra, an organisation that specialises in the psychology of gender and trauma
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Award-winning Academic
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Author of over 40 publications
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Over 20 years of clinical and research experience
Areas of Expertise
Please note you may find this list triggering
Here are some resources for grounding yourself
Sexual abuse, including:
Childhood sexual abuse, incest, drug facilitated sexual abuse, sexual abuse that has occurred in medical settings, sexual abuse in romantic relationships, revenge p*rn, (the nonconsensual sharing of sexual images or videos), deepfake revenge p*rn (the nonconsensual creation and sharing of fake sexual images and videos), online sexual exploitation, sexual assault by strangers, sexual harassment and assault in the workplace, sexual assault involving multiple perpetrators, 'corrective rape' (sexual abuse that targets a person's gender and/or sexuality).
Violence and abuse, including:
Domestic violence, emotional abuse, neglect, physical abuse, financial abuse, bullying and harassment, bullying in the workplace, toxic work environments, toxic supervisors or coworkers, reparative abuse (e.g. forcing an individual to perform a different gender or sexuality), social exclusion and/or abuse targeting a person's identity.
Intersecting issues, including:
Managing trauma responses (e.g. dissociation, flashbacks, nightmares, anger, people pleasing, anxiety, etc.), gender dysphoria as a survivor of sexual abuse, untangling sexuality from sexual trauma, neurodivergent peoples' experiences of abuse, trauma, and healing.
Three Things About Me
01
I'm a survivor of violence and abuse
I have written about my experiences as a survivor of sexual abuse and how this has impacted on my career in psychology. I combine this knowledge from lived experience with my clinical and research work to provide comprehensive and compassion care.
02
I'm a tattooed, heavy-metal geek
I have also researched and written about the role of heavy metal music in trauma healing, as well as how science fiction and comics portray gender, violence, and trauma. When I'm not working, or reading academic books, I'm often browsing comic stores to add to my collection, watching horror movies, or listening to rock and metal music.
03
I'm an Irish immigrant
I'm from Northern Ireland and completed my training in psychology in England before relocating to Canada. I have also written and researched being Irish in those three contexts, and how different those experiences are.
I Work With
